It’s my playdough!

“That’s mine!”

“I was there first!”

“I don’t want to.”

“It’s my turn!”

These phrases are all too familiar in early years settings. They can often (but not always) be followed by raised voices, tears, or the sounds of a scuffle. Children’s reactions in these situations are driven by their emotions.

In the earliest years of their lives, children experience many emotions which can be strong and difficult for them to manage.

Many of us instinctively comfort or reassure a child to help them calm down before we move into problem-solving mode. For example, we might help share out the play dough among the children or use a sand timer to ensure each has a fair turn on a bike.

Watch Jayne’s calm and thoughtful approach to supporting a small group of children through a conflict at the play dough table.

Jayne skillfully and sensitively supports the children by modelling solutions which enable them to continue playing together. At the start of the video, you might notice that one of the children demonstrates some problem-solving strategies to support his friend!

However, some children might find it so difficult to manage their emotions that they can’t use the problem-solving skills we model for them. Therefore, helping them to develop strategies for managing their emotions is a crucial piece of the puzzle. Otherwise, they might continue to struggle, however often we provide positive models of how to share and take turns.

So, what are the best ways to do this?

Research evidence tells us that teaching children strategies for managing their emotions can be effective when we are both proactive and explicit.

So, we need to think about intentionally providing opportunities for children to learn and practice techniques for managing strong emotions and feelings.

On the ‘Teaching and modelling managing emotions and feelings’ approach page, we provide written examples of different strategies.

Having explicit conversations with children about the strategies is an important part of learning how to apply them successfully. Once children have learned a strategy for managing strong feelings, we can encourage them to apply it when needed.

During the early years, most children are likely to require ongoing support in managing their emotions. So, we can expect to have lots of these discussions, in lots of different ways, with lots of different children!

Visit the ‘Teaching and modelling managing emotions and feelings’ approach page within the Early Years Evidence Store's Personal, Social and Emotional Development theme.

Review some of the written examples on the approach page and reflect on your own practice. Consider:

• Where are the opportunities in your daily routines and interactions to teach and model strategies for managing strong emotions, in a proactive way?

• How explicit are your discussions with children about when and why they can use strategies to manage their emotions?

Children’s understanding and awareness of their emotions are important elements of this process. Reading and reflecting on the ‘Teaching self-monitoring and self-awareness’ and ‘Teaching awareness of emotions and feelings’ approaches might be useful for developing your own practice.

To find out more, explore the resources on our Early Years Hub.